A pop culture primer: the sexualization of girlhood…

“‘They grow up so fast’ used to be a wistful sigh; now it’s a panicked cry for help from parents watching their 10-year-old daughters critique Miley Cyrus’s twerking and discuss oral sex with their friends.”

Thus runs the caption for the photo that introduces the January 24, 2014, edition of Newsweek.  In “Sex and the Single Tween,” Abigail Jones argues that “Almost everything that could be sexualized has been sexualized, producing a new generation of girls racing toward womanhood before even finishing puberty.”

In this long article, Jones focuses on the experience of middle- and upper-class “tweens”—a term sometimes used to describe 8 to 14 year-olds but often restricted to ages 10 to 12.  She chose this group since “they have ready access to the technologies, social media, fashions and culture that play such a prominent role in their sexualization.”

Here are a few quotes from an article that should give even the most ardent fans of pop culture pause.

Who are the tweens?

Tweens range in age from 10 to 12 years or 8 to 14 years, depending on whom you ask. The U.S. Census estimates that there are more than 20 million tweens in the country; just under half are girls, and they are the primary focus of this story. The nickname “tween” references a vaguely defined life stage (somewhere between childhood and adolescence) but it also delineates a dynamic marketing niche. At the same time, the word tween has become so common that it allows many adults to distance themselves from this radical transformation in the sexualization of young girls, as if it were just another life stage. Normal, even. …

Today’s tween is no longer a child but not yet an adolescent; too old for Barbie dolls and Disney Junior, too young for Facebook and to understand the search results that pop up when she googles “sexy.” She is old enough to text, want designer jeans and use Instagram, but too young to have her own credit card and driver’s license. Still, she is a malleable thinker, consumer and marketing target. Each day, she is exposed to eight to 12 hours of media, depending on her age, that hones her understanding of how she is supposed to act. She spends a significant portion of her day plugged in – communicating, posting photos, playing games, surfing the web, watching videos and socializing. When TV, music, social media and the Internet are used as baby-sitters – when adults don’t ask girls questions or encourage them to think critically (and sometimes even when they do) – a dangerous scenario emerges: The media start to parent. …

Television, the Internet and social media

Over the past two decades, the rise of the Internet and social media initiated a dramatic shift in popular culture: Almost everything that could be sexualized has been sexualized, producing a new generation of girls racing toward womanhood before even finishing puberty. The result terrifies many adults: American women, age tween. …

For the last few years, I have been following this stunning transformation, talking with girls, parents and experts. When I met Brianna, Sarah, Cat and Madison in 2009, social media had not yet infiltrated tweendom; Instagram didn’t exist, nor did Snapchat and Vine. Facebook and Twitter were still the province of teenagers and adults. And yet it was clear even then that tween girls were totally plugged in to popular culture, trends and sex – an education their parents were constantly – and sometimes desperately – scrambling to monitor. …

“The TV tweens are watching is getting racier,” says Jane Buckingham, founder and chief executive officer of Trendera, a consulting firm with expertise on younger generations. “It used to be all Nickelodeon and Disney; now Pretty Little Liars is a huge hit among tweens. That is a scary show with a lot of sophisticated content.” The show, on ABC Family, is rife with sexual innuendo, mature language, stealing, lying and murder, plus a high school student has a sexual relationship with her teacher. “Even the language on Disney and Nick is getting more sophisticated, because the 8- and 9-year-olds are getting more sophisticated,” Buckingham adds. …

“The role models are what frighten me,” says Diana, who lives in the New Jersey suburbs and has two tween daughters. “When they’re watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Dance Moms – every single thing that those girls and women are is exactly what I don’t want my daughter to be like… [At that age], we were watching The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family, you know?” Today, 73 percent of tween girls “love watching TV” and 24 percent use their computers to visit websites “a lot” while doing so, according to data obtained from Experian. Fifty-one percent want to be famous. A recent study, “The Value of Fame,” by Yalda T. Uhls and Patricia M. Greenfield, found that becoming famous is the “major aspiration” among children between 10 and 12 years old. “Fame was the most important value portrayed in the two most popular preteen programs of 2007, Hannah Montana and American Idol, whereas it ranked near the very bottom for those broadcast over the previous 40 years,” Uhls and Greenfield wrote. …

Done right, social media is a door into vibrant, creative worlds tweens can explore on their own terms, meeting like-minded users, sharing experiences, nurturing their independence and gaining confidence at everything from reading and writing to photography and Hunger Games trivia. …

It has also introduced a new outlet for girls (and boys) to experiment with their burgeoning sexuality. Girls learn how to take selfies and pose provocatively simply by watching and liking. The rewards – likes, comments, followers – are instantly gratifying. The stakes, however, are high. “Social platforms like Instagram give tweens the ability to talk to their friends and seek validation from their friends all the time, anywhere,” Uhls says. “Girls are getting messages in television about sexualization, and they have tools now where they can re-create it themselves.” …

For many tweens, socializing means watching and being watched, judging and being judged. As [psychologist Barbara] Daley puts it, “Tween girls are pseudo-mature. They have the lingo but they don’t have the life experience or the emotional maturity to really understand it and manage it. For some kids, that’s scary, though they probably wouldn’t admit it. For other kids, it’s provocative and titillating and something they can’t manage. Kids are being asked to respond to and exist in a world that is just too grown-up for them.”

Marketing, tween fashion and identity

In our media-saturated world, this sexualization seems unstoppable, and for many of the people involved – marketers, image makers, entertainers and corporations – desirable. …

Marketers have turned preteens into consumers, but parents are the enablers, buying their children those tablets, toys and clothes. (To be fair, many parents hand down older models and keep the upgrades for themselves.) When it comes to fashion, clothing is sold at every price point. By the time preteen girls are teenagers, Abercrombie & Fitch – or whatever clothing line they prefer – is more than a brand; it’s a part of their identity. …

“It’s gotten shorter and sexier and inappropriate for 9- to 13-year-olds,” says Holly Green, [owner of a tween fashion store]. Green is dressed like her clients: jeans, black boots, a gray hoodie with neon stars, turquoise eyeliner. “A lot of the kids are dressing inappropriately for their age, and there are a lot of parents who encourage it,” she adds, tapping on her iPhone with her French-manicured fingers. “It’s Instagram. It’s Facebook. A kid goes to a party and sees it. I had a girl in here yesterday and this kid is pretty conservative. She says, ‘I want it shorter.’ I go, ‘It has cutouts – why do you need it shorter?’ ” …

“What my 8-year-old [daughter] is interested in is exactly what my 14-year-old [daughter] is interested in,” says Jackie, a well-dressed mom with two girls and a boy. “My 8-year-old is a little inappropriate. She’s more sexual than my 14-year-old, and I’m not sure where that comes from.… She wants the bras. She wants the thongs.”

Where are the parents?

When I first interviewed [Jane] Buckingham four years ago, she explained that parents were the gatekeepers, helping girls navigate popular culture, make good decisions, recover from bad ones and hold onto what remains of an authentic childhood. Two months ago, she had something very different to say: “Before, if you wanted to find out about sex or something innocuous – history, travel, whatever – you had to ask your parents. Now, you just google it.… It’s the pervasiveness of technology,” she says. “Parents have lost their role as gatekeepers.” …

“Parents who think you can pretend the Internet doesn’t exist, or drugs and alcohol don’t exist, seem to be more likely to run into trouble,” Buckingham says. “You can’t shut it out completely; you just have to decide which fences you want to put up.” …

One might argue that never before have parents played such a critical role in the lives of their young girls. From raising important conversations and promoting critical thinking to imposing limits on fashion, TV, music, computer use and social media, they can help preteens navigate the chasm between fantasy and reality.

In “Sex and the Single Tween,” by Abigail Jones appeared in the January 24, 2014, edition of Newsweek.